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Earlier this year, Hilaria Baldwin, author, yoga instructor, and wife to Alec Baldwin, shared on Instagram that she was likely having a miscarriage of her fifth pregnancy. Her post went viral and inspired others to share their own stories of pregnancy loss.
Below is an excerpt from the interview with Glamour about why Hilaria hopes sharing such a private moment will help destigmatize miscarriage. You can read the full story on Glamour.com.
Pregnancy loss is a topic that touches almost everyone—10 to 25 percent of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage. I’m not surprised at how common they are. Almost every single one of my friends has experienced some kind of struggle with infertility or miscarriage. I had such a fear of miscarriage with each of my pregnancies that I’d google the probability of miscarriage each day. And yet we’re still so quiet about it. For me, this doesn’t make sense. I understand why some women choose to keep this pain private, but it’s such a personal thing—some people need to process the loss on their own, and others need to process it more publicly. Women deserve to have the option to do whatever they need to heal.
That day after the ultrasound, I came home and felt so, so, so sad. For me, community is healing, so I started to write an Instagram post. I want to share with you that I am most likely experiencing a miscarriage… I read it to Alec and showed him the photo, and then as we sat together, I hit “share.”
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Within moments, people started sharing their own stories. I wasn’t surprised that so many other women had similar experiences, but I was surprised at how many of them wanted to be so public about them. Thousands of women—and men—told me in the comments it was the first time they’d ever opened up about their miscarriages. People told stories about carrying a pregnancy to term only to have a stillbirth; they shared their stories of multiple miscarriages and still holding out hope for a baby.
Critics say something so personal should stay quiet. But I want women to know if that’s not serving you, if that’s not the way that you’ll feel better, you don’t have to do that. I wanted to lead by example in saying that there’s another option out there.
I want women who have gone through this to know: There is nothing wrong with you. You are not alone. I know this didn’t happen because I did something wrong. This is just nature. Sharing allowed me to feel heard and helped me receive support and wisdom from other women who have experienced the same thing. Emotionally I’m still healing; physically the process is not over. Miscarriages can take days or even weeks, and I’ll have more checkups ahead.
In the midst of my miscarriage, I am reminded how lucky I am, not just because I have four healthy babies, but because so many women reached out with overwhelming positivity. This week, my five-year-old daughter Carmen said to me out of the blue, “Mommy, do you know there are more good people in the world than bad people?” She’s right. Whenever you can see people with all different experiences and walks of life coming together about an issue, supporting and sharing, that is beautiful. You can read the full story on Glamour.com.
Hilaria Baldwin is an author, yoga instructor, and cohost of the podcast Mom Brain.